Explore Esther Delsol’s PILLOWTALKZ, empowering Black women with bold conversations. Break boundaries and embrace your voice with confidence and inspiration.
They say that everything is about sex, except sex, which is about power. Meet Esther Delsol, a bubbly personality, former shy girl and creator of PILLOWTALKZ podcast, which empowers black women and the rest of the community to really ‘talk the talk’ when it comes to sex and relationships. It’s time to drop the stigma, lose those assumptions and get to know what it’s like to turn an age-old taboo into an engaging opportunity…
Where do you call home?
I was born and bred in south London, Clapham Common to a massive family. I was brought up by my grandmother with four other sisters. I’ve always felt so connected to this city, although I do travel a lot. I’d say my favourite place is Ghana. I think I’ll eventually move there to live.
Ghana, for me, has a vibe like nowhere else I’ve been to. Colourful and mystic energy; the people there just motivate me. It doesn’t feel like a holiday, it always feels like I’m home. Better still, home is where the heart is, my family.
What does your typical day look like?
I start my day by always giving thanks with a moment of re lection. I’m a mother of three so I do the school run, then I’m in work mode. I check out all my socials for research purposes and usually get side-tracked by the celebrity blogs at times! I’m always trying to think of new ideas and I’m always networking in some way, reaching out to other creatives to collaborate.
What inspired you most when starting out in your career?
What inspired me was the lack of confidence in us as black women to be able to speak unapologetically about our sexual desires. I was inspired by the change in myself, as I was always very reserved and cautious when speaking about sex and what I needed from my partner sexually. When I came into myself, I wanted to share that confidence with other women and men.
What has been the biggest challenge in your career?
Telling my family about what I was doing. There was a lot of judgement around it, on why I needed to talk about sex in front of a camera. My parental status came under scrutiny and my role in the family as an auntie and sister was undermined. I remember that was an extreme and beautiful time, as it fuelled me to just practise solitude and love for myself. It was a dark time, but I came out shining brighter than ever! I started the Live PILLOWTALKZ audience in the summer of 2023. It was a gamble as I’d never done it live. However, the first show was a sell out!
What assumptions do people make about your career that in reality are the complete opposite?
I used to get a lot of people thinking I was this sexed-crazed goddess, that I knew everything about sex and that I was up for everything sexual. It was actually quite funny because I’m the complete opposite!
How does your career blend into your personal life?
My eldest daughter has been such a blessing and always is on set with me and at the live shows.
My partner is always giving me ideas, so it does entwine positively.
PILLOWTALKZ is always with me and I’ve learned lots from my guests, which helps me within my relationships. It’s a win-win.
How does being a black woman influence your career?
In my community, I am one of the few who publicly support women’s rights to speak out about their sexuality and sexual desires. Being black is magical for me and I want to spread awareness of all that we are and are becoming.
I feel that we need more of us to publicly work together and support each other to rise to our highest potential. I’d love to be an ambassador for that!
How has your relationship with your hair been throughout the years?
Me and my hair have a harmonious love affair! I remember when I turned 30, I cut my hair really short and had come into a stage of feeling like a real woman; feeling so powerful.
I’ve had it done in many different cuts. At the moment I’m feeling very feminine and I’m kind of the most feminine feminist I’ve ever been in my life. I feel very soft and very sultry and I identify that with long hair. That’s why my hair is long at the moment, which I don’t usually like. I’ve had it for over a year now so yeah, it shapes how I’m feeling in the stages of life and I’m where I’m at.
What message can you give to other black women and non-binary people?
My message to black women out there is do not lose your femininity in this world. It’s very easy to do, especially when you have your own business and you are an entrepreneur. Keep that side of yourself and do not let anybody change the core of who you are.
Where can people find you?
Instagram | @Iampillowtalkz
TikTok | Iampillowtalkz
